This time last year…

…I was a wreck.

Not even a month fresh off the back of a complete breakdown, I was in a very dark and lonely place. Isolated, withdrawn, fearful, angry, frustrated, powerless, weak…I had let life get the better of me yet again and the Gods were not going to stand by and watch me wreck my outlook another time and so they pulled the rug from under my feet and sent me spiralling into oblivion.

But now…now I’m back at work, sticking to my guns with regards to not being walked all over/taken advantage of. I am more confident, more assertive, more happy. I have wonderful people in my life – some very new, but still very special – all of whom have been there to help motivate me and keep me walking in the right direction.

In the last twelve months I’ve been able to finally find and be the person who I am meant to be; a glimmer of my ultimate, True Self. I’m also going to the gym – finally putting my money where my mouth is and getting in shape to enable me to feel confident on the outside as well as the inside.

I’m not perfect. But I’m taking it a day at a time. I have my slips. I have my difficult days. But I try to remain focused on the good days, on the things to look forward to. For memories. For friends. For family. For lovers.

So I suppose what I want to really say with this little ramble is “thank you”…to everyone (myself included) for everything – however small or fleeting – they have done that’s helped turn my life around in such a big way in the last twelve months!

I’ll Do Anything

Give me your smile and I’ll make the sun,

Give me your tears and I’ll turn them to diamonds.

Give me your hand and I’ll never let go,

Give me your heart and my love you will know.

 

Show me you are happy and I’ll sing with joy,

Show me your are sad and I’ll hold you close.

Show me you are there and I’ll stand by your side,

Show me your love and I’ll beam with pride.

 

Offer me your lips and I’ll press mine against them,

Offer me your frowns and I’ll turn them upside down.

Offer me your thoughts and I’ll listen with intent,

Offer me you love and I’ll treasure every moment.

 

Bring me you happiness and I’ll watch you forever,

Bring me your woes and I’ll comfort you fondly.

Bring me your soul and I’ll take you into mine,

Bring me your love, my sweet and our love will intertwine.

What is Love?

Love isn’t a number, Love isn’t a time.

Love isn’t a place and Love isn’t mine.

Love isn’t just yours, Love isn’t to keep.

Love isn’t to hide and Love isn’t to weep.

Love isn’t alone, Love isn’t afraid.

Love isn’t by itself and Love isn’t kept in the shade.

Love isn’t bound by distance, Love isn’t just a game.

Love isn’t merely a nice word and Love isn’t always the same.

Love isn’t a simple definition, Love isn’t a word in a book.

Love isn’t something to say to make someone feel better,

And Love isn’t always in the places you look.

Love isn’t many things to many people,

But something holds for us.

No matter what people say or do,

Love IS – just because…

single-red-rose

Zeus & Ganymedes

It’s been a short while since I posted last and that’s down to a number of things (most recently being my desktop hard drive giving up the ghost, limiting my online access) but I’m been looking through old stuff and come across a selection of pieces I wrote some years ago, early in my discovery and exploration of Hellenic Polytheism. Thought I’d share this particular piece at the moment. Enjoy!

 

Zeus & Ganymedes

Oh beguiling and beautiful Prince of Troy,

Whose youthful radiance fills my very immortal heart;

How can I be without thee by my side high in Olympos?

A King amongst Gods, I watch with sweet and tender desire,

The swelling in my heart more than any mere mortal could abide,

The divine ichor in my veins rises to fill every fibre of my endless Being.

Sunlight catches your hair and the contours of your body move with noble grace,

Shrouded in your royal robes as you go about your day unaware

That a God looks down on your splendour with elation.

 

And when great Helios and pale Selene have played their merry chase across the sky

More times than I care to notice, and dark-bosomed Nyx envelops the world in darkness,

I realise in my perpetually beating heart of my unceasing love for thee.

In your dreams I play my part, whispering to your ear my words of passion.

A god of such terrible force and thundering destruction am I,

But also gentle and kind, favourable to those I adore.

No longer can I endure this unending maddening desire,

So I send to you my love on an eagle’s wing.

 

The touch of down and feathers across your body melts your resistance

As into a slumber you fall, so deep and peaceful I am the only thought to fill your mind,

Up, higher towards the glory of Olympos you ascend!

Oh handsome longing of my heart, the clasp of the raptor’s claws on your exposed flesh neither pains nor marks.

The touch of the eagle and the warmth of feathers are an extension of my will,

As the clouds pass you by and Desire himself rests heavily in my chest, I see you brought before me.

You are my ever-youthful prince and I behold you to my eyes as though your mortality is more divine than my own Godhood.

 

In sleep your resplendent nature is even more gratifying;

Beauty so unforgettable I place you amongst the stars so that no matter where in the universe I may be, you will always look back at me.

Your chest rising and falling slowly, your downy lashes fluttering only slightly as you dream of me.

My touch rouses you as you rise to my hand and I lead you to take your place amongst the Gods.

Sit beside me; be enveloped by my strong arms. Let me see your sweet smile, hear your laughter to tell me you are happy

And taste the nectar of your lips.

 

I will keep you forever safe in immortal bliss; rest your head on my chest and hear my heart beat for you,

Know that my you have my grace and all in my power will keep you from even the most divine wrath that others may attempt to thrust upon you.

Freedom and love, passion and frenzy, desire and respect – these and so much more I give to you…

My exuberant Ganymedes.